Sometimes, the wind picks up at night during the summer. The hot air of the Spanish mesa flees with the sun, and cooler temps rush in. I can get up from bed, look out the open window, and see the treetops swirling. I gather the curtains back inside from their wild flapping and pick up important papers that have blown across the floor and down the hallway. I re-position the fan blowing in our bedroom so it doesn’t fight the wind, and lay back down.
I’ll admit that when I’m lying awake during these cool evenings, I enjoy doing nothing. Sometimes the solution to a video compositing challenge will pop into my head, or I’ll see a plan behind my eyelids for the construction of the next prop on my list. However, this week I’ve started to sweat over the looming weeks of the production scheduled for this Autumn. I start packing the cargo van, I start organizing the props and worrying over the dates on the calendar. Instead of resting, I begin a mental checklist that if not set aside, will morph into one of those dreams where I’m standing in front of my school locker, trying desperately to remember the combination in order to get to the final exam wearing nothing but my socks. Yeah, you know you’ve been there. (I may have even seen you run past me!)
In the mornings, I begin to appreciate once more that this media missions endeavor allows us to admit weakness and rely on God’s strength. The more we remember to ease our own fretting control over the uncontrollable details, inviting God back into our understanding of His project, the easier it will go for us. I learn this again and again. I’ve spent years watching the treetops swirl.
“Breathe in me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy.
Act in me O Holy Spirit, that my work, too, may be holy.
Draw my heart O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy.
Strengthen me O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy.
Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy. Amen.”
~ prayer attributed to Augustine, who is featured in one of The Heritage Project stories in production at this time.